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Tips to help your child cope with the challenges of online learning and social distancing

Who would have thought that 2020 would turn out like this? Many moons ago when we were young and speculating about a futuristic 2020, we envisioned green aliens ruling Earth and flying cars crowding the air space. We most definitely could not predict that we would be confined to our houses and forced to live a ‘back-to-basics’ life.

In these unprecedented times, the biggest worry for most people is their own health, food, job security and freedom of movement. We should also be worried about the effect this pandemic has on our children, their future and how we can make it better for them.
The impact on learners’ academic performance and advancement is obvious. Apart from the fact that some learners have no access to online education (more than 70% of learners in South Africa), even those who are privileged enough to have access to online teaching and resources will still be at a disadvantage. 

Filling the gaps
Primary school learners are dependent on their teachers for far more than just the basic tasks that are given or explained to them – they now rely on their parents to fill that gap. Unfortunately, most parents also have to work from home, which can place a lot of additional stress on the household. Online assessments, which are now the only way to access, cause far more anxiety than the usual in-classroom assessments. For example, if a learner does a Maths assessment online, the calculations would have to be copied from the screen to paper, completed and the correct answers entered online. This takes additional time and careless errors can sneak in, influencing marks. Connectivity issues, outdated devices, etc. all contribute further to more anxiety. 

Navigate the new normal
Despite all the negatives, there are also many benefits for your child that should not be overlooked. Learners are forced to navigate in an online world which will definitely be a part of their futures. They are taught independence and self-discipline that will boost their self-esteem and give them confidence in their abilities.
The emotional impact of this pandemic probably has the biggest influence on our children. They cannot interact in normal ways with their peers, they cannot partake in organised sport, they are missing out on social and cultural events at their school and the list goes on. These social interactions form an integral part of being a child and growing up.
The reality is that we will probably be in this unique situation for at least a few more months and we have to find new innovative ways to cope and support our children. 

We as parents should:
• Not put any unnecessary pressure on our kids to excel academically during this period, especially not at primary school level. Make sure that they check-in for online lessons and hand in all work due. Do not interfere with their class work in an attempt to make it better or to achieve better marks 
• Stress the process (and effort) and not the outcome
• Help your child when they ask for it, or if you see that they are not coping with the workload. Online teaching is a learning curve for everyone, even the teachers. If your child is not coping, contact the teacher and discuss how to best handle the situation
• Be kind to your child’s teachers. Teaching online is new for most of them and lots of planning and preparations are needed to produce sensible lessons and tasks 
• Manage your younger child’s timetable. If your child is given all the tasks for the day in the morning, draw up a schedule to ensure your child doesn’t spend too much time on each task and in the end, not finish or work the whole day
• Make sure your child spends time outdoors and be active. If you have space around the house, let your child run, skip, hop, or do any other physical activities to burn excess energy. Even if you do not have the option to play outside, put on music and make your kids dance off their energy
• Allow them to chill and relax. These are stressful times and kids’ minds have to be ‘reset’ to cope with the additional stress. Concentrating on something else, like a Fortnite game, may just be what they need to feel normal again.

Many years from now our children will reflect on this unique and challenging time in their lives and entertain their kids with stories from the year 2020 when the world was turned on its axis and we all stayed at home!
In the words of the age-old Persian saying: “This too shall pass.”

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Play is often regarded as something children do after their schoolwork and chores are finished. As children grow older, their free time is gradually replaced by homework, sport, lessons and other responsibilities. Adults become even busier, and playing may begin to feel unproductive or childish. However, play is not simply a break from learning or work. It can support creativity, emotional wellbeing, problem solving and relationships throughout our lives. In her talk, Why Everyone Needs to Play!, Mila Rojas challenges the idea that play belongs only to childhood. She encourages adults to think back to the activities they loved when they were 11 years old. Did they enjoy building, drawing, dancing, playing games, riding bicycles or making up stories? Her message is simple: growing older does not mean that we should stop playing. However, play is not simply a break from learning or work. It can support creativity, emotional wellbeing, problem solving and relationships throughout our lives. In her talk, "Why Everyone Needs to Play!", Mila Rojas challenges the idea that play belongs only to childhood. She encourages adults to think back to the activities they loved when they were 11 years old. Did they enjoy building, drawing, dancing, playing games, riding bicycles or making up stories? Her message is simple: growing older does not mean that we should stop playing. Play is an important part of learning For children, play is one of the most natural ways to learn. When children build a tower, create an imaginary shop or invent the rules of a game, they are doing much more than entertaining themselves. They are learning how to: solve problems; communicate their ideas; cooperate with others; manage disappointment; negotiate rules; use their imagination; make decisions; and try again when something does not work. The American Academy of Pediatrics explains that appropriate play with parents and other children helps to develop language, emotional regulation, social skills and important thinking abilities. Play also gives children a safe space in which to explore their world and practise new skills. A child building a bridge with blocks is experimenting with balance and structure. Children playing a card game are using numbers, memory and strategy. A group creating an imaginary restaurant is practising language, cooperation and problem solving.Learning does not always need to look like formal schoolwork. Adults also need opportunities to play Adults may not play in exactly the same way as children, but play remains valuable. It may involve gardening, painting, dancing, solving a puzzle, playing a social sport, creating music, baking for enjoyment or playing a board game with friends. Research into adult playfulness has found positive relationships between playfulness and aspects of wellbeing, including positive emotions, engagement, relationships and life satisfaction. This does not mean that play removes the challenges and responsibilities of adult life. It means that enjoyable, voluntary activities may help adults reconnect with curiosity and creativity. Play can give adults permission to: take a break from constant productivity; experiment without fearing mistakes; enjoy the present moment; connect socially with others; and rediscover interests that have been neglected. An adult who plays is not being irresponsible. A healthy life needs room for responsibility, rest, connection and enjoyment. Playing together benefits children and adults Playing with children is not only beneficial for the child. Shared play can also help parents and caregivers become more present and attentive. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that positive parenting activities, including playing and reading together, can reduce parental stress and strengthen the relationship between parent and child. When adults join children in play, they enter the child’s world. This creates opportunities for conversation, laughter and connection that may not occur during rushed daily routines. Responsive interaction is especially valuable for young children. Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child describes the importance of “serve and return” interaction. A child makes a sound, gesture or comment, and a caring adult responds. These repeated interactions help to build healthy brain development and secure relationships. Shared play naturally creates many of these moments. A parent rolls a ball and the child rolls it back. A child invents a character and the adult responds as another character. A child adds a block to a tower and the adult follows their idea. 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The value lies in imagining, experimenting and connecting. Simple ways to introduce more play Play does not require expensive toys, special equipment or a carefully planned programme. Families can begin with ordinary objects and activities. Have a family game evening Play cards, complete a puzzle or choose a board game. Allow different family members to choose the game each week. Go outside Kick a ball, take a walk, play with pets, explore the garden or invent a simple obstacle course. Create something together Draw, paint, bake, build with recycled boxes or make up a story. The activity does not need to produce something perfect. Let children teach the adults Ask your child to teach you a game or activity they enjoy. This gives the child confidence and allows the adult to enter the child’s world. Rediscover an old interest Think back to what you loved doing when you were younger. Try it again, even if you feel a little self-conscious at first. Protect time for unstructured play Children also need time in which every minute is not organised by an adult. Boredom can become the starting point for imagination, experimentation and independent play. Conclusion Mila Rojas reminds us that play should not have an age limit. Children need play to explore, learn and develop, while adults can benefit from the enjoyment, connection and creativity it brings. When adults play with children, both have an opportunity to slow down and enjoy one another’s company. The child receives attention, encouragement and a safe place to explore. The adult is reminded that not every valuable activity needs to have a measurable outcome. Play does not need to be earned after everything else has been completed. It is a valuable part of a balanced and connected life. With many IEB schools currently on holiday, this is the perfect opportunity for families to rekindle the habit of playing together. It does not have to involve expensive outings or carefully planned activities. A board game, a ball in the garden, baking, drawing or simply laughing over an invented game can create lasting memories. Put some of the usual routines aside, follow your child’s lead and enjoy quality time together. The holiday will pass quickly, but the connection created through play may remain long afterwards. Bibliography: American Academy of Pediatrics. (2018). The Power of Play: A Pediatric Role in Enhancing Development in Young Children. American Psychological Association. (2020). The Many Wondrous Benefits of Unstructured Play. Farley, A., Kennedy-Behr, A. and Brown, T. (2021). An Investigation Into the Relationship Between Playfulness and Well-being in Australian Adults. Harvard University Center on the Developing Child. Serve and Return: Back-and-Forth Exchanges. Rojas, M. (2026). Why Everyone Needs to Play! TEDxSaintAndrewsSchool and Play@TED. Referenced in Saint Andrew’s School: Student Milestones Highlight a Standout Season for Saint Andrew’s TED Program.
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